Two incidents over the past week have really opened my eyes to what it means to step into my own power and stop being a people-pleaser. The first one was at the spa. I met a girl. She was in a relationship with a boyfriend and kept talking about how great they were together. But after a few moments of me just holding space the narrative turned into them having a shaky foundation and turbulent past with each other. I could sense her deep unhappiness and how the relationship had run its course on a soul level. I didn’t say anything. Instead I even encouraged her to keep on talking or simply said “that’s great” when she praised him. The next day I had a rash below my mouth. My guides told me it was because I had not stepped into my integrity and told her what I really thought. Instead I had been a people-pleaser.
The second incidence was on Monday. I went to Sephora to have my makeup done. The girl kept chatting away at how great this eye shadow and that lip gloss looked and I fell into the all-too familiar trap of being nice, nodding, smiling and telling her what a great job she was doing. I disliked the makeup and entire experience. I could tell she didn’t like her job, her life and even herself at this point.
On my way back, I took the subway. All of a sudden a wave of anxiety washed over me and I felt a deep sadness. My heart sank. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Was it just an odd vibe or was I sad because of something much deeper? Then it hit me like a blow to the head! My integrity was gone because I hadn’t said what I really thought. I felt I had lost a piece of my soul and I was desperately trying to fill the void. I had gone through the all-too-familiar trap of trying to overcompensate for something I would never be able to from the outside instead of looking within me.